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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26118748">She Holds the Sun in Her Hands</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticaverage/pseuds/chaoticaverage'>chaoticaverage</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Pre-Dragon Age: Inquisition - Trespasser DLC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:54:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,008</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26118748</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaoticaverage/pseuds/chaoticaverage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The crafting of a particularly beautiful staff causes Solas to drift through memories he he will treasure as his plan wrenches him and his love apart.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Inquisitor/Solas (Dragon Age), Female Lavellan/Solas, Fen'Harel | Solas/Female Lavellan, Lavellan &amp; Solas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>She Holds the Sun in Her Hands</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She Holds the Sun In Her Hands</p><p>Solas had not lied, or exaggerated, when he told Maisha she changed everything. It had come to mean so much more than the shift he felt when she closed a rift for the first time—he thought it again and again, as he watched the world refract around her every movement. Her very existence was a distortion that was distracting on his best days and utterly, debilitatingly, disorienting on his worst.</p><p>As they worked through the Emerald Graves, there were an infinite number of things that he should have been focused on: the demons, the infestation of giants, even the fact that the very ground they walked upon was soaked with the blood of the elven people. Instead, his eyes lingered on the way the light shone on her white hair or how beads of sweat glistened on the golden lines of her vallaslin. Lost in the way it framed her blue eyes and brought out the slightly amber hue around her irises, even he forgot the pain seeing the brand of June on her ivory skin had once brought him.</p><p>He could not help but smile as she closed another rift with a satisfied grin on her face. This work would have destroyed the spirit of so many, but not hers. She was vibrant and so <em>alive</em>. Perched on top of an outcropping of stone, she ran her fingers along the head of her staff. It was new—Dagna and Harritt had worked together to gift it to her, commemorating their victory at Adamant. To an untrained eye, it looked simple. A slender rod of obsidian curled upward, like a branch, into an open sunburst. What made it’s extraordinary craftmanship apparent, was the aura of bright, white light that burst from it as the cleansing rune came to life. Solas watched wistfully, trying to memorize every detail. In that moment, she looked as though she held the light of the sun itself in her hands.</p><p>As if she could feel his eyes on her, she turned and smiled at him, before jumping down nearly out of sight, taking all the light of the world with her. Solas smiled softly, remembering fondly the day she received the staff. She burst in to his study as she often did, full of excitement, holding the staff out to show him. She had nearly tripped, and laughed as she caught her self.</p><p>“That would have been bad! This thing is sharp,” she declared, playfully poking his side with it. “Isn’t it fantastic?” she said dreamily as she sat up on the edge of his desk, holding the staff in front of her. “It’s bigger than my head!” she pointed out with a chuckle, pushing her face into the open circle. She laughed at herself and twisted her torso to face him. “Look Solas!”</p><p> The obsidian sun did in fact encircle her entire face. He laughed and shook his head. She was so young, so full of hope and glee. His heart suddenly felt heavy in his chest and he turned his back to her. How could he watch her smile and laugh this way when he had caused, would cause, her so much pain?</p><p> “Hey,” she murmured, as he felt the soft touch of her fingers on his shoulder. Her tone had changed, now full of concern, and Solas tensed in response. She always knew when his thoughts darkened, yet another reason why he knew he would have to end…whatever this was…eventually.</p><p>He covered her hand, small and soft, with his, and turned back. “It’s nothing. It is a wonderful staff.”</p><p>Maisha frowned. “Where’d you go?”</p><p>“Nowhere, vhenan. How could I, when you are here with me?” He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her fingertips.</p><p>Maisha smirked. “Sweet talker,” she teased, reminding them both of their first kiss in the Fade. She leaned forward and kissed him gently, as if they had all the time in the world. He tightened his grip on her wrist, deepening the kiss. Yet, as always, it was Solas that pulled away first. He knew she wanted more. He often caught her watching him longingly, even hungrily after hard fights. Another reason, he thought. He was stealing time from her, knowing full well that time was precious and limited. It was selfish, but each time he imagined pushing her away, a small voice in the back of his head bade him to be selfish for a little while longer. He pressed his forehead against hers, taking in the smell of her, the feel of her skin, the sound of her breath, memorizing each detail, as he always did. When he did away with everything else, he would have these memories.</p><p>He thought this again, as she walked towards him, pulling his mind back to the present in the Emerald Graves. “Harding said there was another rift not far from here, we should keep moving,” she directed. <em>Remember this, </em>Solas noted to himself, thinking on the way she imbued her voice with authority when direction was needed. He often marveled at how the same, small body could hold so much youthful joy alongside such strong will. He would remember both versions of her. His <em>vhenan</em>, his heart, and his inquisitor.</p><p>Maisha swung her staff into the harness on her back, the runic light still emanating from the point the grip met the ring of sun rays at the top. The metal rays stuck out behind her head, creating a halo of white light and metal. Solas smiled. This is how he would remember her as he extinguished the light of her world. He heard Cassandra chuckle. “We should have made you this staff long ago. You truly do look like the Herald of Andraste now.” Maisha laughed, quickly changing the subject. She hated being called the Herald, but had given up on correcting Cassandra. Besides, it didn't suit her, Solas thought to himself. She is so much more. She is the sun, she is everything.</p>
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